


Fear

by tristen84



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-23 01:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tristen84/pseuds/tristen84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a stake-out together, Robin and Kid Flash have a frightening run-in with Scarecrow. Dick-Wally friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to say a very special thank you to Black Friar for the cheerleading, feedback and suggestions. I couldn't have finished this fic without you! :o)

"Robin, Kid Flash, report."

"No activity yet," Robin replied, lowering his binoculars. His cape billowed in the night breeze. "Lights are on in the warehouse, but nobody's been going in or out. At least, not since we arrived. We may have to go in for a closer look."

"Negative," Aqualad’s voice crackled in his ear. "We are not to risk exposure."

"Aw, come on!" Wally whined from beside Robin. "We've been sitting on this rooftop for the past _hour_! I'm bored! I could just zip in and out and nobody would even notice!"

"Negative," Aqualad repeated calmly. "Batman's orders."

"Well, Batman’s not here right n—"

"How about you guys?" Robin interjected before Wally could put his foot in his mouth. "Anything interesting?"

"I have not yet checked in with Artemis and Superboy, but all has been quiet on our end," Aqualad replied.

"Okay. Check back in twenty?"

"Affirmative. Aqualad out."

"I’m _bored_ ," Wally complained about five seconds later.

"You’ve said that already."

"Yeah, and it’s worth repeating because I’m boooooored."

Robin sighed. "KF, am I gonna have to sit through your whining _every time_ we’re on a stake-out together?"

"Hey, if I’m miserable because I’m bored out of my freaking mind, the least you can do is listen to me complain about it."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Uh…why?"

"You’re my best pal! Best pals are supposed to sympathize with each other!"

Robin snorted. "Sympathize? Dude, I am not gonna sympathize with you just because you’re bored! In fact, if anyone should be sympathized with, it should be me for having to put up with your whining."

"Oh, c’mon, tell me you’re not bored too," Wally said.

"We’ve only been here an hour, KF. I’ve been on stakeouts with Batman that lasted _six_ hours!"

Wally stared at him. " _Six hours?!_ With _Batman_? With I’d-rather-die-before-making-conversation Batman? Dude, that's gotta be- that’s gotta be torture! You know what? You’re right, youdo deserve my sympathy."

"Thank you. Now would you just hush up for a minute? You've been yapping non-stop since we got here," Robin said, lifting his binoculars to his eyes again.

"Fine."

Robin breathed a small sigh of relief. He scanned the warehouse across the street from where he and Wally were stationed on a rooftop. Batman had sent the Team to investigate a drug ring that had been operating in and around Gotham City; Batman himself had been tied up with League-business, so Robin had basically volunteered the Team’s services. Aqualad had split them up in pairs and they’d spread out across Gotham to keep an eye on the three warehouses that had been on Batman's list of possible bases of operation.

"…I'm hungry."

"Wally!"

"Okay, okay, shutting up."

It was silent for all of a minute and thirteen seconds. "Think Artemis and Supey are getting more action?" Wally asked him. Without waiting for an answer he went on, "They are, aren’t they? I knew it! Aw, man! I always get stuck staking out places where absolutely nothing happens! Why didn't you say something?"

Robin sighed, exasperated. "KF, I've been sitting beside you this whole time, listening to the same comm. link you have. What makes you think I have more information?"

Wally looked at him with an expression that said the answer was painfully obvious. "Dude. You're the Boy Wonder. You _always_ have more information."

Robin grinned and opened his mouth to respond when suddenly a metallic scent caught his attention. Then, in his peripheral vision, a shadow shifted. Frowning, he turned his head sharply to the side. Moonlight glinted off metal and before he even realized what he was doing, Robin shoved Wally away from him and threw himself in the opposite direction. "KF, MOVE!" he yelled, right when a massive boot swung through the air where they had been sitting only seconds before.

Robin quickly rolled to his feet and faced their opponent. The man standing in front of him was easily twice as tall as Superboy and had a chest the size of Kaldur’s, Superboy’s and maybe even Wally’s put together. Robin had just enough time to take note of the huge weapon replacing the man’s lower right arm, before the guy raised it and fired it straight at him.

Something slammed into Robin, knocking him off his feet and propelling him away from the explosion that shook the building beneath his feet. Landing in a tangled heap of limbs, he propped himself on his elbows, dazed, and found himself looking up at Wally’s serious face. "Thanks," Robin said, a little breathlessly.

"No prob. Who the heck is this guy?" Wally demanded, as he extricated himself from Robin’s legs.

"I dunno, but he seems like the shoot-first-ask-questions-never type, so-" Robin didn’t get to complete his sentence, as the guy raised his gun once more and fired multiple rounds in rapid succession. Better prepared this time, Robin leaped and flipped out of the way, withdrawing two exploding batarangs from his belt and flinging them at their opponent.

With far better reflexes than Robin would’ve thought a guy that size capable of, the man simply knocked them aside and they sailed harmlessly over the edge of the rooftop. From the corner of his eye, he saw Wally launch himself at the man, using his superspeed to deliver a solid blow to the side of his face. The man blindly lashed out with his arm and Wally neatly ducked it.

"Ha! Too slow!" Wally boasted, slamming his fist into the man’s gut and effortlessly dodging the elbow that came at him.

As Robin moved to join the fight, he took the opportunity to observe their opponent. His bulging arms were bare; the rest of his body was covered in dark blue spandex, which expanded to wrap around his entire head, leaving only two slits for the white lenses that concealed his eyes. Though the man was burly, he was fast, his swings and kicks only missing Wally by a hair. Robin suspected that Wally’s superspeed had caught the man off-guard and that it was why Wally was able to get in so many hits.

Then there was, of course, that big canon of his. As long as they could keep the fight in close-quarters, the man would be unable to use it. One of the first things Batman had ever drilled into Robin though was to never take unnecessary chances. Which meant Robin would just have to take it out.

When Wally spun away to avoid getting kicked in the teeth, Robin spotted his opening. He ran at the man, then leaped and braced his feet against his opponent’s hip. Grabbing onto the man’s upper arm, he stuck an exploding batarang onto the weapon. Signaling Wally, Robin jumped back down, landing in a crouch as the batarang went off. Not wanting to allow the man time to recover, they didn’t wait for the smoke to clear before pouncing on their enemy once more.

Robin had just delivered a hit to the side of their opponent’s neck, when the man snarled. There was a sudden, sharp movement and before either of the teenagers knew what was happening, Robin found himself on the ground on his back, cupping an aching jaw and blinking away swirling black dots, a similarly dazed Wally lying beside him. "Uh, what just happened?" Wally wheezed.

Before Robin had gathered the breath to respond, his leg was suddenly yanked out from under him, his ankle trapped in a steel grip. The world spun around him and he felt the blood rush to his head as he was momentarily held upside-down. Before he could even think about attempting to twist out of the man’s grasp, he was bodily flung into one of the old, brick chimneys that were situated on the rooftop. Pain exploded in his back and shoulders and he vaguely registered someone – Wally? – shouting his name, before he slumped to the ground. Breathing hard, he blinked furiously to get the world to turn right side up again.

He struggled to his feet, shaking his head slightly, and looked up when a cry of alarm rang out. Robin had just enough time to identify the dark blur that was sailing through the air towards him as Wally, before his friend crashed into him with bone-jarring force. Sharp pain lanced through his head when Wally’s elbow inadvertently slammed into his temple and then, everything went black.

*

_"I want them alive."_

_"Don't bother collaring the bird. He doesn't have powers."_

Voices were floating through his mind, unfamiliar and harsh. His head was _throbbing_ and his back and shoulders ached. Very slowly, he became aware that he was sitting up and leaning sideways against something that felt solid and warm beneath his cheek.

"Dude. Robin!" a familiar voice whispered urgently into his ear. "C’mon, Rob, wake up! Give me a sign you’re okay."

Okay, that was Wally. Robin slowly raised his head from what he now realized was Wally’s shoulder, and bit back a groan when he opened his eyes. Bright ceiling lights stabbed into them, making his head pound even more than it already was. Blinking rapidly, he waited until his vision cleared and took in his surroundings. The room they were in was fairly small and bare, with just a single workstation situated in a corner and an empty-looking cupboard standing beside a refrigerator on the opposite wall. The high ceiling was cracked and the white walls were stained yellow--

"Dude." Wally was nudging him gently with an elbow. "You okay? Say something." Wally was keeping his voice low and Robin quickly realized why; the guy that had attacked them was standing a few feet away, talking to someone who was decidedly shorter, though still tall. The other guy’s back was turned to them, but something about his skinny frame was familiar…

"I’m fine," he told Wally, raising a hand to rub his temple – only to discover that his hands were tied in front of him, smooth wires digging into his wrists. Wait- his wrists? That meant his gloves were gone and so – he gasped – was his utility belt. He quickly brought his hands to his ear and discovered that his communicator, too, was missing. Wonderful.

He turned to Wally. "You o--?" he began, and was distracted by the sight of a metal band with flashing lights that encircled his friend’s neck. "Is that an inhibitor collar?"

"Yeah. Seriously, where are they getting these things? Was there a wholesale on inhibitor collars and we missed the memo or something?"

Robin shrugged and glanced at their captors, who were still in deliberation, although the smaller man appeared to be doing most – if not all – of the talking. His voice sounded shrill and he was gesturing wildly, like he was angry or panicked, but it was the yellowish, straw-like hair that made Robin sit up a little straighter.

"Crap."

"What? What is it?" Wally asked, immediately picking up on the way Robin tensed.

"That’s Jonathan Crane, AKA Scarecrow."

"Scarecrow? That dude that likes to scare people to death? Great. Although…he did sort of save our butts just now."

"What?"

"Well, the big guy was about to blow our heads off when Scarecrow told him he wanted us alive."

Robin snorted. "Yeah, probably so he can experiment on us."

"Dude, seriously, don’t even joke about that."

"Who says I’m joking?" Robin shot one last look at their captors and then quickly turned to Wally, grabbing his hands and setting about loosening the knots around his friend’s wrists.

He’d only been at it for about a minute, when Wally suddenly hissed " _Dude, watch out!_ ", but it was too late. His breath literally caught in his throat as his cape was pulled taut around his neck from behind and he was lifted bodily off the floor.

"Ah, the little bird thinks he can escape."

Dangling from the man's hand by his cape and struggling to breathe, Robin still noted his captor's strong Russian accent.  He brought his bound hands up to his throat, trying to find the clasp of his cape, but the man roughly slapped his hands away with his big canon.

"Let him go! You're choking him!" he heard Wally yell over the sound of blood rushing through his veins.

"You are speedster," the man told Wally calmly, looking completely unconcerned that he was strangling Robin with his own cape. Then he turned his head towards the gasping Robin, ignoring Wally’s angry shouts. "And you are Batman’s little brat. Good. I will not underestimate you again."

In his struggle for air, Robin began to kick out wildly. When he heard his captor grunt, he knew he'd scored a hit, but it did not have the desired effect. Without loosening his grip on Robin's cape, the man raised his weaponized arm and Robin suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of the huge gun that was slowly moving towards his face. It seemed like his exploding batarang hadn’t even dented it.

"You are very bold, brat, but that was mistake."

Wally lunged at the man's legs.  The man simply side-stepped, kicked Wally in the ribs and pressed the tip of his gun into Robin's already aching temple. It took everything Robin had to stop his struggles while still fighting for air, knowing that if he moved just a little too much, he'd be dead. As it was, his captor was slowly dragging his weapon downwards, and Robin felt it scrape along his skin, even though the lack of oxygen was starting to narrow his vision and making his body feel numb.

"Knyazev, enough. I’ve got something much more fun in mind," Scarecrow suddenly spoke up from behind them.

_Knyazev?_ Robin thought vaguely. _Definitely Russian._

He must've blacked out for a moment then, because between one weak gasp and the next, he was on the floor, on his hands and knees, coughing and wheezing. Then, Knyazev’s big boot collided with his side, once again driving the air from his lungs and making him gag. His vision tunneled and for a few seconds, all that mattered was sucking in enough air to keep from passing out. Through a haze, he heard Knyazev’s raucous laughter and Wally’s angry voice. Gasping, he struggled to his hands and knees.

"Leave him alone, you freak!" Wally shouted, and Robin raised his head to watch his friend deliver a solid kick to the back of Knyazev’s knee.

Knyazev turned around with a growl, grabbed Wally by the hair and smashed the back of his head against the wall. As Wally slumped to the floor, clearly dazed, Knyazev seized him by the front of his suit and flung him across the room like a rag doll.

"KF!" Robin gasped, watching his friend crash to the floor and slide head-first into a wall. He didn’t move after that.

Robin’s furious attempts to get to his feet were halted by Scarecrow, who crouched down in front of him. Robin stared at the gaunt face; already, the sallow skin, sunken eyes and hollow cheeks were creeping him out, and Crane wasn’t even wearing his Scarecrow mask yet.

"Hello, Robin," Crane said glibly. "You remember me, don’t you? I must say I was surprised to see you here. Where’s the big Bat?"

"Around," Robin replied, his voice hoarse.

"Is he now?" Crane narrowed his eyes. "I don’t believe you. I don’t think the big bad Bat is around at all or he would’ve shown up before my associate here captured you. That’s why you have your friend with you, isn’t it?"

"Who says we’re not just bait?"

Crane’s lips twisted into a vague semblance of a smile. "No, little bird. I don’t believe even the big bad Bat would go so far as to allow anyone to hurt his precious sidekick."

"Partner," Robin corrected before he could stop himself.

Crane cackled humorlessly. "Of course you are," he said. "But I don’t think the Bat is around at all, which leaves me with two highly convenient test subjects. You see, I’ve been a very busy bee and now I’d like to see the results of my hard work."

Without warning, Crane reached up and tore the mask from Robin’s face, but before the boy could worry about his identity being exposed, the criminal curled his hand in Robin's hair, yanked his head back and sprayed something into his eyes. The stuff felt like liquid fire and he cried out, his bound hands flying to his face.  Somewhere above him, Crane was laughing and his hair was released, allowing him to turn his face away from the glaring ceiling lights. Robin fought the urge to claw at his eyes as they burned and instead ground the heels of his palms into them to try and alleviate the pain.

"Sorry about that," he heard Crane say, though he didn’t sound sorry at all, "but I have to make sure you’ll stay put. I know what a little escape artist you are."

Swiping at the tears that were streaming down his cheeks, he sensed more than saw their two captors leave the room, the heavy door closing behind them with a clunk. He blinked furiously, trying to clear his vision, but it remained extremely blurred – to the point where he could barely make out shapes. His eyes burned so badly that for a moment, he panicked, wondering whether this stuff was actually going to make him blind. _Get a grip, Grayson! Get a damn grip!_ His mind shouted at him. _Worry about your eyesight later!_

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and gradually managed to get his urge to scratch out his own eyeballs under control. As he did so, he became aware of a steady hissing sound. His heart sank when he realized what it meant: the room was filling up with gas. Most likely Scarecrow’s fear gas.

Wally! He needed to get to Wally!

"KF?" he called out, a knot of concern tightening in his stomach when Wally didn’t respond. "KF? Wally, talk to me."

Trying to visualize where Wally had landed when Knyazev had hurled him across the room, Robin used his hands and knees to move in the general direction of where he'd seen his friend fall. When he reached the opposite wall, he paused to withdraw a rebreather from a small pouch in his cape. The lack of sight and the fiery pain in his eyes, however, made his bound hands clumsy and he fumbled with the device, feeling it slip from his fingers and hearing it clatter to the floor. "Dammit!" He blindly groped around for it, and breathed a small sigh of relief when his fingers found it nearby. Realizing time was running out, he held onto the rebreather tightly with one hand, while with the other he probed the floor for Wally. Finding nothing, he reluctantly opened his eyes to slits, trying to see past the tears in his eyes.

His blurry gaze fell on a dark shape only a few feet away and Robin swiftly moved to kneel by his friend’s side. As the searing pain in his eyes grew worse, he squeezed them shut once more. "KF," he said, his free hand finding Wally’s shoulder and giving it a shake. "KF, can you hear me? Wake up!"

To Robin’s relief, Wally stirred almost immediately.

"Rob?" Wally croaked, pausing to clear his throat. "What’s-?"

"KF, listen to me," Robin interrupted him urgently. "Scarecrow's filling up the room with gas, and I'm guessing it's fear gas, so you've got to breathe through this thing, okay?" He held up the device in his hand.

"Your rebreather?"

Robin nodded, wiping at the tears that were still running down his cheeks with his arm. "It should filter out most of the gas."

"Okay," Wally said slowly, clearly still confused. "Wait- What about- Are you-? Dude, why are you crying?"

"KF, talk later! Shut up and breathe through this thing already!"

"But-"

Squinting through his eyelashes, Robin jammed the rebreather between Wally's lips and pinched his friend’s nose, forcing the still dazed boy to breathe through his mouth. A peculiar smell reached Robin's nostrils and he tucked his nose into the crook of his arm, hoping the fabric of his uniform would filter out at least some of the poisonous fumes.

As the air grew thick with the gas, however, it became increasingly difficult for Robin to breathe. He knew the fear gas wasn’t going to suffocate him, assuming it really was fear gas, but knowing that with every breath he took, he was exposing himself further to a substance that was most likely going to drive him insane was…unsettling, to say the least.

Wally was pushing at his hands; he was still pinching Wally’s nose closed and keeping the rebreather in place. He knew the other boy had probably recovered enough by now to take care of himself, but he wasn’t going to run the risk of the speedster trying to share the rebreather with him by taking it out and getting a whiff of the gas in the process. Speedster metabolism or not, they would need at least one of them to stay in their right mind if they wanted to get out of there. And since he himself could barely see at the moment, Wally was their best bet.

Wally’s hands pushing at him grew more insistent, and Robin knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold out for much longer; his arms were starting to tremble from strain and he was having trouble keeping his mind focused.

He shook his head. "KF…Don’t," he struggled to say. Why was it suddenly so hard to get his mouth to form words? "S-stay sane. Get- get us out."

The gas thickened and Robin almost gagged at the smell of it. His head and heart were pounding, his breathing hitched, and though his eyes were closed, he could feel darkness close in on him. A shiver of fear coursed through him; he’d been hit with Scarecrow’s toxin before, but it had never felt like this. The hallucinatory effects had been almost instantaneous, and it had never caused him to black out. What- what if this wasn’t fear toxin at all? What if this gas was really going to kill him?

It was his last coherent thought before consciousness left him.


	2. Chapter 2

Something coarse and wet was being dragged across his closed eyelids. It hurt, and his hand automatically shot up to stop whatever it was that was hurting him. His fingers closed around a warm wrist and he twisted it sharply.

"OW! Whoa! Rob, it’s _me_!"

Wally? Robin immediately let go of the wrist and blinked his eyes open, only to slam them shut at the pain it caused. He groaned and raised a hand to touch the area around his eyes, but it was gently intercepted by Wally, who pushed his arm back down to his side.

"Just stay still for a sec," Wally said from somewhere above him, "I’m trying to get some of that stuff out of your eyes."

"What-what happened?" Robin asked.

"I’m a little vague on that myself," Wally replied, and Robin felt him dab at his eyes again. He gritted his teeth against the sting. "Something knocked me out and then when I woke up you were yelling at me to use your rebreather because of-"

"-Scarecrow’s gas," Robin finished for him, remembering. "Right."

"You okay?" Wally asked him.

"Fine. Just-" Robin gestured at his yes. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Oh yeah, aside from the fact that we're stuck in this smelly old lab, have no way of contacting our friends, got beat up by some overzealous Russian guy AND I just watched my best friend pass out from exposure to some gas, not knowing whether he was going to even recognize me anymore when he woke up or even _if_ he was going to wake up, I’m _awesome_ , " Wally paused and took a breath. "So…not that I’m not happy that you’re awake and having a very lucid conversation with me right now, because I am. Extremely. But shouldn’t you be going stark raving mad about now?"

Robin sat up slowly. His head was pounding and his eyes still hurt like hell, but aside from the bumps and bruises he sustained in the fight with Knyazev he didn’t feel much the worse for wear. Which was definitely odd. "I should," he agreed. "But I’m not."

"No hallucinations?"

"No. Unless I’m imagining you talking to me, in which case _you’re_ a hallucination, but--" A warm hand closed around his wrist.

"No way, dude. I’m real."

"Well, that’s exactly what a hallucination would say, isn’t it?" Robin said, getting to his feet but keeping his eyes closed.

"Dude, now you’re just being paranoid," Wally responded. "What are you doing?"

"There’s water here?"

"Yeah, a tiny little faucet over there. The water pressure’s pretty bad though."

Before he could ask where "over there" was, Wally took his hands and guided him towards what felt like a bowl made of stone. A sink, he concluded. There was a squeak and then the sound of running water. Robin cupped his hands under the narrow stream and splashed the water into his face, sighing with relief at the marvelously soothing effect on his eyes.

"So…maybe it wasn’t fear gas?" Wally said from somewhere behind him. "Maybe it was just something to knock us out?"

Robin didn’t miss the hopeful note in his voice.

"It’s not Scarecrow's M.O. to use substances that _don't_ use people's fears against them, but, yeah, maybe," he added, more for Wally’s sake than his own. For now, he was going to operate under the assumption that he _had_ been exposed to some kind of fear gas and that he would start to feel the effects soon, which meant that he was going to need an antidote ASAP.

"How long was I out?" he asked as he carefully pried open one eyelid with the fingers of his left hand and used his right hand to drip some of the water into his eye. It hurt like hell at first, but the sharp stinging sensation that had been plaguing him from the moment Scarecrow had sprayed that stuff into his eyes was slowly beginning to lessen to a dull burn.

"Maybe fifteen minutes."

" _Fifteen minutes_?!"

"Give or take."

"Geez!" Robin carefully rubbed at his eyes one last time, then groped around for the faucet to turn it off. "We have to get moving!"

"Yeah, dude, I’d love to! Just, you know, we’ve gotta find a way to get _out of this room_ first," Wally pointed out. "How’re the eyes?"

Robin blinked rapidly and wiped the last droplets of water from his face. "Better, actually." His vision was still a little blurry and his eyes felt like sandpaper, but at least he was able to keep them open without being tempted to claw at them.

There was a sudden sharp intake of breath and he looked up to see Wally staring at him with a startled expression on his face.  Robin stiffened. "What? What’s wrong?"

"Your mask’s gone."

Robin rolled his eyes and relaxed a little. "You’re just noticing this now? We have _got_ to do something about your powers of observation, KF."

"Dude! I’ve been a little preoccupied with _other stuff_ , you know. Like, worrying about _you_."

Robin waved him off, but paused mid-wave when his gaze fell on Wally’s bound hands. "KF! Why didn’t you tell me you were still tied up?" Robin exclaimed as he swiftly moved to undo the wires around Wally’s wrists.

"What, you’re just noticing this now?" Wally mimicked. "I untied _you_ ages ago!"

"Hey, I was _blind_! And unconscious when you did the untying. Better than your excuse."

Robin made short work of the wires and Wally rubbed his wrists with a relieved sigh. "Can you do anything about the inhibitor collar?"

Robin shook his head. "Sorry, they took my gloves and utility belt, so no lock picks. Besides, the lock is electromagnetic so I probably wouldn’t have been able to get it open with just my lock picks anyway."

"Greaaaat," Wally commented, before giving him a side-long look.

"What?"

"Why are you not freaking out about losing your mask?"

Robin shrugged. "Bats don’t freak out, neither do Robins. Besides, Scarecrow didn’t seem all that interested in who I was. I mean, he just ripped the mask off and sprayed me in the face. I don’t think he even looked," he said. "No sense in worrying about it now anyway. Gotta concentrate on finding a way out of here first."

"I already checked the door; it’s solid metal, no locks or cracks on our side that I could see."

"Okay," Robin said, looking around pensively. "No windows, so we might be underground. Probably no outer walls either…"

"How about the air shaft?" Wally suggested, nodding his head at the small, square ventilation grid in the top right corner of the room.

"Perfect! Give me a boost?"

Wally positioned himself directly underneath the grid, bracing his back against the wall and lacing his fingers together. Using his friend’s hands to climb up the taller boy’s shoulders, Robin stood on his toes to inspect the grid.

"It’s screwed shut," he reported. "Man, do I miss my utility belt right now!"

"Does that mean you can’t get it open?"

"I didn’t say _that_ ," Robin said with a grin, jumping down from Wally’s shoulders and retrieving the wires their wrists had been bound with. He was back on Wally’s shoulders and working away at the screws in seconds.

_Robin._

"What?"

"What, ‘what’?" Wally asked.

"I thought you said something."

"Nope. How’s it goin’?"

"Halfway there."

_Robin. You are weak._

Robin stiffened. "Batman?"

_You are a disappointment._

The air around him grew cold and dark. He sensed a shadow towering over him, and a shiver crawled up his back.

"Batman? No, I- _Why_?"

_You are NEVER going to be good enough. I never should have chosen YOU as my partner, DICK._

Robin whipped his head around, horrified, and stared up at the massive dark figure standing over him. "Batman, I- what did I do? What did I do wrong?" He turned, but suddenly the ground seemed to disappear from under his feet.

"Robin!"

He was falling, but all he could see were Batman’s masked eyes glaring at him with supreme and angry disapproval.

oOo

"Robin!"

Wally felt Robin’s weight slip from his shoulders and made a grab for his falling friend, but his fingers only grazed the fabric of Robin’s cape and the younger boy landed hard on his butt.

Even without his superspeed, Wally was beside his friend in a second.

"Geez, Rob! What the hell? Are you okay?"

Dazed blue eyes blinked up at him. "Ow."

"You okay?" Wally repeated anxiously.

"Yeah," Robin replied, a slight tremor in his voice. "Yeah, I’m- fine."

"They’ve started, haven’t they?" Wally said quietly. "The hallucinations?"

"Hallucinations? Uh. Yeah," Robin said, his gaze dropping to the floor. Seeing that Robin wasn’t going to elaborate, Wally helped the younger boy to his feet. "Ready to try again?" he asked, purposely keeping his voice light. No point in dwelling on what couldn’t be helped. He just hoped Robin would be able to hang on to his mind long enough to, you know, actually _get_ them out.

Robin looked at him and set his jaw. "Yeah."

Wally patted his shoulder in what he hoped was an encouraging manner. Handing Robin the wires he’d dropped during his fall, Wally resumed his previous position against the wall. This time he wrapped his hands around Robin’s ankles in case something else happened.

"Got it!" Robin announced only a few minutes later, and before Wally could say anything, Robin had pulled his ankles from his grasp and the weight on his shoulders was gone. He glanced up to see Robin smirking down at him from the ventilation shaft. "You comin’?"

Wally grinned, taking a few steps back before he ran up the wall, kicked off and twisted in mid-air, easily grabbing hold of the edge of the vent. The movement exacerbated the headache he’d been nursing since Robin had shaken him awake, but he ignored it and pulled himself into the shaft. When he looked up expectantly, Robin was already moving further down the vent. Great. It just figured that when he _finally_ got a chance to show off his own acrobatic skills, Robin wasn’t paying attention.

Sighing, Wally quickly caught up to his friend and they crawled along silently for a while, both concentrating on making as little noise as possible. 

When Robin took a right at an intersection with barely a hesitation, Wally decided to break the silence. "Uh, dude? Do you know where we’re going?" he whispered.

"Not really."

"Then how do you know-?"

"The air’s being sucked out this way," Robin whispered back. "Feel it?"

"Uh." Wally paused and became aware of a slight breeze ruffling his hair. "Yeah?"

"Means it’s a return duct. It should lead us to the end of the system. At the very least, we can check other grids along the way for- for-"

Wally looked up sharply and halted just in time to avoid bumping into his friend when Robin stopped suddenly. "What is it?"

Robin didn’t answer, just stood frozen on his hands and knees, staring at something ahead.

"Rob?"

"I-I’m sorry," Robin whispered. "I-I didn’t mean to…"

"What are you talking about?" Wally said, voice low. Then Robin’s head whipped to the side for just a moment, as if someone had struck him, and Wally caught a glimpse of the other boy’s face; his eyes were wide, his skin was pale and his bottom lip was trembling. _Uh-oh._ _Not good. Not good!_

"Rob!" Wally hissed. "Robin, whatever you’re seeing or hearing, it’s not real, okay? Can you hear me?" He wrapped his fingers around Robin’s ankle and shook it lightly.

Robin’s response was to whimper and move back, forcing Wally to back up a few steps as well.

"N-no, Batman. I- I _swear_ I didn’t! I don’t know how-"

"Robin!"  Wally struggled to keep his voice down while trying to get through to his friend. The fact that there was very little room to maneuver and that he was facing Robin’s rear rather than his face rather complicated matters.

When Robin’s voice rose to a shout, Wally did the only other thing he could think of that might bring the younger boy out of his hallucination: he pinched the outside of Robin’s calf. Hard.

Robin jerked and Wally winced when he banged his head against the ceiling.

"Ow," Robin said, automatically bringing up a hand to rub at the back of his head. "What the-?"

"Rob?" Wally whispered.

"KF?"

"Dude, you with me?"

"Uh. I think so? Where- where are we?"

"Condensed version? Scarecrow and Russian dude jumped us, you were exposed to fear gas and-"

"-we’re escaping through the air vent. Right, got it."

"You okay?"

Robin was silent for a long moment. "No," he whispered finally, "but we don’t have time for a therapy session. Let’s go-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a voice thundered down the shaft. "So the little bird is still thinking he can escape. Think again. I am coming to get you and your little friend and when I am find you, I am _tearing. You. To. Pieces_!"

Knyazev’s growl bounced off the walls of the shaft, making it ring in their ears. It sent a shiver down Wally’s spine.

"You heard that too, right?" Robin asked quietly, sounding uncertain.

"Yeah, dude. You’re definitely not hallucinating this time."

"Okay, just checking. I guess we’d better hurry then," Robin said, immediately moving forward and picking up the pace.

"At least he won't be able to follow us into the vents," Wally remarked. "There's no way he'd fit."

"Yeah, but they might have blue prints of the building, which would tell them exactly where to look for us."

"Oh. Yeeeeah, that would be bad. Hey, Rob?" Wally began when something else occurred to him, and he wanted to smack himself for not thinking to ask about it sooner. "What's our time frame here? I mean, how much time do we have to get you the antidote?"

"I don't know. But I'm guessing that the worse the hallucinations get, the less time we'll have. Eventually I'll either lose my mind or die from heart failure."

It was stated so matter-of-factly that anyone who didn’t know Robin as well as Wally did would think he wasn’t bothered by this at all. Wally swallowed, and cursed whoever invented those damn inhibitor collars. He and Rob could’ve been halfway to Mount Justice by now.

"But the good news is that we missed our check-in ages ago, so the Team should already be hightailing it here."

 _Unless they ran into trouble too_ , Wally thought. But he was _not_ going to think about that. Nope. "They’d better get here soon," he muttered.

It was another five minutes before they found their exit. There had been no more hallucinations nor had they heard anything more from Knyazev. It wasn’t reassuring.

Robin soundlessly removed the grid that was blocking their way out and they both jumped down from the shaft. Wally took a moment to get his bearings. They were standing on a small, square platform in some sort of tunnel; the air was stale and there was dull light coming from a row of glowing fixtures fastened to the ceiling.

"Where the heck are we?"

"No idea. I think it’s an old subway tunnel or something. See those tracks over there?" Robin said, pointing at a gap between two platforms. "Doesn’t look like it’s still being used though."

"A subway tunnel? What’s it doing here?"

"Dude, seriously, who cares why it’s here? Let’s go!"

"Right. Right."

They jumped down from the platform and Robin crouched to put his ear against the metal tracks.

Wally stared at him. "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Checking if there are any trains coming."

"I thought you said this tunnel wasn’t being used anymore?"

"I’m pretty sure it’s not, but, better safe than sorry." Robin was quiet for a minute, a look of concentration on his face. "Okay," he said finally, straightening up. "Seems clear."

"Great. Soooooo which way?" Wally asked, peering into the dark of one tunnel.

"No idea. I…"

Robin’s voice trailed off and Wally looked over to find him staring at something over Wally’s shoulder. Expecting Knyazev looming over him, Wally whipped around, automatically falling into a defensive stance, only to be looking up at…nothing.

A feeling of dread settled in his stomach, and he turned back to Robin, who was still staring at a point over Wally’s shoulder. The younger boy began to stumble backwards, his eyes wide and frightened, and tripped over the tracks. For the second time that night, he landed hard on his butt, but this time it didn’t jolt him out of whatever terrifying hallucination held him in its grip. He backpedalled frantically until his back hit the wall behind him.

Wally groaned. "No, no, no, no, no, not _now_!" He crouched down in front of his friend and clutched his upper arms. "Come on, Rob, stay with me! Stay with me, c’mon on!"

Robin was shaking his head, murmuring something Wally didn’t catch. Suddenly, the younger boy cried out and dropped his face in his hands. "NO!" Robin shouted, shaking his head again vigorously and trying to push his back even further against the wall as if he wanted it to just swallow him up.

Wally shook him lightly. "Rob! Rob, look at me! C’mon, dude, I _really_ need you to look at me right now." He carefully pried Robin’s hands from the boy’s face. "Look at me, Rob. _Please_."

Slowly, Robin’s wide eyes rose to meet his own. His pupils were so blown that Wally could barely even see the blue irises anymore. "W-Wally?" his friend whispered.

Wally could feel him tremble beneath his hands and smiled encouragingly, hopeful. "Yeah, dude, it's me. I’m right here, see?"

But Robin’s eyes grew troubled and sorrowful, and Wally’s hopes were dashed. "Wally, I-I’m sorry," Robin said, lifting a shaking hand to touch Wally’s cheek. "I’m so sorry. I-I never meant for you to die. It's all my fault… All my fault! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!"

 _Oh no._ Wally closed his eyes and hung his head, feeling defeated. How the hell was he supposed to get through to Robin if he thought Wally was dead? Taking a deep breath, he raised his head and gently took Robin’s chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing his agitated friend to meet his gaze again.

"Robin, look at me," he pleaded. "I’m NOT dead, okay, dude? I’m right here, I'm _ALIVE_!"

The words had only barely left his mouth when the wall beside them exploded.


	3. Chapter 3

A series of loud bangs jerked Robin from the comforting arms of darkness.

He shifted, but regretted it immediately; his head was pounding, his chest felt tight and he ached pretty much everywhere. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked several times to clear his vision, but it remained blurred; his eyeballs felt like they'd dried up in their sockets. _What the-?_

"Seriously, that's all you’ve got? My _grandma_ could take you out! You’re _really_ gonna have to do better than that!"

Robin froze at the familiar voice. Wally? Wally was there? But- no- that- that was impossible! Wally was- Wally was dead! He'd watched him die; he'd _seen_ his mutilated face…hadn’t he? Robin carefully turned his head towards the sounds of battle, and had to squint a little to make out the dark blur that represented Wally’s costume. There was no way Wally was alive- and yet…he was right _there_! And he was fighting some dude! But why wasn't he using his speed? Why was he-?

Oh. Right. Inhibitor collar.

Wally looked like he was holding his own for now, dodging his opponent's swings and kicks but not getting in many hits himself. The other guy – Knyazev, he remembered – was huge, easily twice as tall and muscular as Superboy-

Superboy. Oh God. He was- he was dead, too, wasn't he? Stabbed in the face with a Kryptonite knife. From the corner of his eye, he could see the older boy’s corpse lying just a few feet away, already beginning to rot and decompose, and he quickly yanked his attention back to the battle that was taking place before him. He was just in time to watch Knyazev slam Wally into a wall. The Russian was clearly gaining the upper hand.

_Get up, Grayson! You have to help Wally!_ Robin tested his aching limbs and found that he was able to move them without having to endure horrible stabs of pain. He shoved some of the rubble that covered him aside and slowly got to his feet. The world tilted sideways and he held one hand out to the wall to steady himself. Automatically reaching for his utility belt with his other hand, he was shocked to find it gone.

_What the heck?_ Where was his utility belt? And- and where were his gloves? And- _Jesus_ , his mask! A wave of panic washed over him, and for a moment, he stood rooted to the spot. _What. The hell. Happened?!_ But then Wally cried out, and he shook himself. _Focus, Grayson. Priorities! Help KF first, freak out later!_

Deprived of his arsenal of batarangs and other gadgets, he knelt down on the uneven ground and felt around for something he could use as a weapon. His fingers closed around a sharp, fist-sized rock and he got to his feet quickly, ignoring the weak feeling in his knees, and melted into the shadows. It seemed that neither Wally nor Knyazev had noticed him yet. Good.

Keeping one eye on the fight, he ghosted onto the platform behind Knyazev, just as the man grabbed Wally by the throat and lifted him off his feet. No time to waste. Robin soundlessly crawled up behind them, tightened his hold on his makeshift weapon, and pounced. He slammed the rock down onto the back of Knyazev's head, who grunted and stumbled sideways, releasing his hold on Wally.

As the other boy slumped to the ground, Robin took advantage of Knyazev’s momentary weakness and kicked him in the kneecap as hard as he could. In one fluid motion, he dropped and swept Knyazev’s feet out from under him with his leg. The man went down like a ton of bricks, the ground shaking a little beneath Robin’s feet. Knowing he probably only had a few seconds before Knyazev recovered, Robin flung himself down beside Wally, who was coughing and trying to get his feet under him.

"KF! C’mon, get up! You have to move!"

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he felt a meaty hand wrap itself around his ankle. Before he could even process what was happening, the world blurred around him and his back was slammed into the ground. He gasped, blinking away stars.

"You little brat!" he heard Knyazev growl as he desperately tried to catch his breath. "I am squashing you like bug!"

Robin saw the boot come at him, but didn't have time to roll away before it was pressing down on his chest.

_Really? He has to step on me?_ he thought vaguely. _Seriously, why do they always have to step on me?_

He heard Wally shout something, but was too busy trying to draw a breath to pay much attention. The pressure increased and it felt like his chest was collapsing inwards. As the pain became unbearable, he cried out, knowing he was wasting what little oxygen he had left but unable to stop himself. The sound of blood rushing in his ears drowned out all else and his hands pushed at Knyazev's boot as he desperately tried to suck air into his deprived lungs, his chest unable to expand to accommodate his lungs.

His breastbone, his ribs, his lungs, his entire body _hurt_ and then the crushing weight became even worse and suddenly, something snapped inside his chest. It was pure agony as the pressure continued to increase, but he couldn’t even find the strength or the breath anymore to scream. His already blurred vision was becoming even more fuzzy, and when blackness finally came for him, he welcomed it.

oOo

"Seriously, that's all you’ve got? My _grandma_ could take you out! You’re _really_ gonna have to do better than that!" _Not too much better though_ , Wally thought desperately. Because, really, if things had looked bad before, they looked pretty hopeless now. He risked a quick glance at Robin, who was lying flat on his back to Wally's right, half-buried underneath some rubble. He wasn't moving. The younger boy appeared to still be out cold after having been struck in the head with a piece of debris when Knyazev had blasted the wall beside their heads with that freakish arm canon of his.

Knyazev growled at the insult and unleashed a flurry of lightning fast kicks and blows, and it was all Wally could do to dodge them; the guy might've been big and brutish, but he was still ridiculously fast and without his superspeed, Wally was having trouble staying out of his reach while trying to keep him away from Robin.

_"Wally!"_

The mental voice that broke into his thoughts almost made his knees go weak with relief. They didn't, though, because he was a little too busy ducking a particularly vicious elbow strike.

_"M’gann? Oh babe, could your timing be any better?"_

_"Wally, are you all right? Where's Robin? I can't reach him!"_

_"Rob's down, and we could use a little help! Like, right now!"_

_"Where are you?"_ Artemis demanded. _"We’re inside the warehouse you were staking out, but nobody's here!"_

_"The building right across from that warehouse. We're in a subway tunnel underneath somewhere!"_

_"Understood,"_ Kaldur broke in. _"We will find it. How many?"_

_"Just one,"_ Wally replied, realizing Kaldur was asking about the number of opponents. _"But he's freaking huge and I got stuck with an inhibitor collar."_

_"We will get there as quickly as possible."_

_"Hurry, we’re not gonna last long!"_

_"We are on our way. Hang on, Kid. We are coming."_

Wally let the link lapse as he needed to concentrate on the battle at hand. He supposed he was lucky Knyazev hadn't decided to just shoot him yet, because there was no way he could dodge bullets right now. 

As hard as Wally fought though, it didn't take long for Knyazev to wear down his defenses; Wally could hold his own in a fight, but he wasn't the martial artist Robin was. Without his superspeed, he knew he wasn't going to last long against this guy.

When he twisted away to avoid getting hit by the brass knuckles on Knyazev’s fist, he failed to parry the elbow that slammed him into the wall. Pain lanced up his back, but he managed to keep his feet and block the blow that was aimed at his head. Another blow, however, connected solidly with his ribs and he fell to the ground, crying out when Knyazev followed up with a kick to his side.

Gasping, Wally tried to push himself up on his hands and knees, when suddenly he found himself nose to nose with Knyazev’s spandex-covered face.

"Problems getting up?" Knyazev intoned with his thick accent. "Allow me."

His throat was seized in a steel grip, just above the inhibitor collar. Wally's hands scrabbled at the fingers cutting off his air supply and he attempted to twist out of the man’s grasp. The lack of oxygen was starting to narrow his field of vision, but a slight movement behind Knyazev caught his eye; a small, red, yellow and black figure was emerging from the shadows. If he hadn’t been so desperate for air, Wally would have smiled.

_Dude, I'm **so** never going to complain about you doing the ninja-thing again!_  

The next thing he knew, he was on the ground, wheezing and coughing. Then Robin was beside him, urging him to get up and move, and Wally wanted to tell him that he was _trying_ , but his voice seemed to be stuck in his throat.

Without warning, Robin was gone and when Wally turned, his heart almost skipped a beat when he saw that Knyazev was in the process of crushing Robin with his foot. "Stop!" Wally shouted, his voice hoarse. Finally managing to get to his feet, he launched himself at the man, only to be swatted aside like a fly. He banged his knee against the metal tracks on his way down and clutched it with both hands as pain reverberated through the nerves in his leg.

Robin cried out and Wally gritted his teeth, forcing himself to get up and _get moving_ , dammit! Rob needed him! But before he could take more than two steps, Robin went limp and Knyazev began to laugh -- a rumbling, malicious laugh.

"It would seem that I broke the little bird! For good this time."

At the sight of his friend lying very still beneath that crazy man’s massive boot, anger surged up in Wally. _Kaldur, where the HELL are you?!_

As if on cue, Knyazev suddenly turned sharply and plucked an arrow out of the air that had been sailing straight towards his chest.

_"We are right here."_

A furious growl heralded the arrival of Superboy, and Wally had never been so glad to see him as he watched his teammate sprint onto the scene and catapult himself at Knyazev. In seconds, the rest of the team had descended on the Russian, drawing him away from Robin, and giving Wally the opportunity to check on their youngest team mate. His heart pounding, he quickly crawled over to his friend’s prone form.

"Rob?"  Staring down at the still, pale face, Wally paused and swallowed hard. _Please be alive!_ **_Please_** _be alive!_ He held a trembling hand beneath the younger boy’s nose, and sagged with relief when warm breath brushed his fingers. "Oh, thank God," he muttered.

_His mask!_ Wally thought suddenly. Batman would kill him if he let the rest of the team see Rob without his mask! Crap, how the heck was he going to-- ?

Wait! _Of course_! Wally reached up and yanked his goggles from his head. He quickly adjusted the strap and then carefully lifted Robin’s head a little so he could slip it on; he took extra care placing the goggles over Robin's eyes as the skin there still looked inflamed from whatever chemical Scarecrow had sprayed his friend with.

He was just readjusting the strap a little when Robin groaned and his eyebrows twitched. "Rob?" Wally prompted.

The younger boy slowly blinked his eyes open and Wally was taken aback by how black they seemed, even through the tinted lenses of his goggles. He had never seen pupils so badly dilated before. "Rob?" he repeated, cautiously. "It's me, Wally. You okay, dude?"

For a moment, Robin looked up at him quietly, and Wally allowed himself a breath of hope that Robin was hanging in there, that he wasn't lost in some terrifying hallucination.

Then his friend threw his head back and screamed.

"Geez, Rob, calm down!" Wally exclaimed after he had recovered from his initial shock, struggling to keep Robin still as he thrashed about and continued to scream. "Rob, it's me, it's just me! Calm down, you're gonna hurt yourself!"

Robin didn't seem to be able to hear him; whatever terror was unfolding in his mind seemed to have completely consumed him.

Aqualad, obviously having heard Robin's scream, was beside them in a flash. "Robin! Kid, what ails him?"

"He was exposed to Scarecrow's fear gas," Wally told him grimly, trying to get a firmer grip on Robin's arms. "He needs the antidote. We have to get him to Mount Justice, now!"

Aqualad nodded. "Take Robin to the bio-ship; Miss Martian will accompany you. Superboy, Artemis and I will take care of this…behemoth…and take a zeta tube back to Mount Justice."

"Great plan! Just one problem-" Wally said, pointing at the device around his neck impatiently.

"I will remove it," Aqualad said. "Hold still."

Aqualad's tattoos flared blue and seconds later the collar crumbled and Wally was finally able to breathe more freely. It was a psychological effect, he knew, as the collar hadn't actually restricted his breathing at all, but being unable to use his superspeed had been a _major_ pain in the butt and he was glad to be rid of the damn thing.

"Go," Aqualad said, looking down at Robin's struggling form with a grim expression.

"Going!" Wally responded, scooping Robin up and holding onto him firmly to keep his thrashing to a minimum.

_"M'gann, you comin'?"_

_"Right behind you, Wally!"_

_"Where'd you park the ship?"_

_"I'll show you."_

An image was gently pushed into his mind, and he was moving before he had even consciously realized where he needed to go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads-up: there's some disturbing imagery up ahead. Thanks for reading! :o)

_The team was lined up against the wall. **His** team – Aqualad had been the first to fall, throwing himself directly into the path of a battle axe to save Artemis, his sacrifice automatically making Robin the one to take the lead. Of course, he hadn't been leader for more than ten minutes, and he had gone and gotten them all captured._

_Robin had been strapped to a chair, stripped of his gloves, utility belt and even his cape, while the others had been manhandled into position, the red lights on their inhibitor collars flashing at him tauntingly. He shivered as he watched Joker inspect his "goods" by staring each of his team mates in the eye before bursting into laughter._

_To Robin's confusion, a dozen or so civilians appeared, all of them women and children, but his attention was drawn to a coin that was being flipped into the air. He started violently when he was suddenly nose to nose with Harvey Dent's mutilated face._

_"Well, well, Boy Wonder. Here we meet again," Two-Face growled. Robin almost gagged at the putrid breath that wafted across his face. "Let's see if you've learned anything."_

_Joker cackled again and Robin tore his eyes from Two-Face's horrifying features to watch Joker pat Artemis' cheek with the business end of a crow bar._

_"Get away from my team," Robin growled._

_"But why?" Joker asked with a smirk. "I'm going to have so much fun with your little friends!"_

_"Heads or tails?" Two-Face asked him suddenly._

_Robin looked back at him. "What?"_

_"Heads, these poor people die," Two-Face said, pointing at the civilians, who were now huddled together, trying to calm the sobbing children in their midst. "Tails, your team gets it."_

_"How is that a choice?"_

_"Call it."_

_"No, I'm not going to play!"_

_"Fine. Then they all die."_

_"No, wait!"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Tails," he whispered._

_"What was that?"_

_"Tails!"_

_The coin sailed through the air and landed on Two-Face’s palm. Two-Face simply glanced at it and bared his teeth in a twisted imitation of a smile. "Tails it is."_

_A machine gun appeared in his hands and he pointed it at Robin’s team. There was a click--_

_"No!" Robin shouted, struggling against his bonds. "Don't do it! Please!"_

_Two-Face paused and looked back over his shoulder at Robin, a devious grin on his face. "No? So you choose them over those innocent people after all? Fine. But Batman will be disappointed," Two-Face said, swinging about and pointing his weapon at the group of civilians. Before Robin could even blink, he was mowing them all down, their screams ringing in his ears._

_"NO! NOOO!" The straps keeping him bound to the chair dug into his wrists and ankles as he strained against them, heedless of the warm blood that was beginning to coat his wrists._

_When the sounds of gunfire died out, smoke swirling from the gun’s muzzle, Robin heard the gurgles, sobs and cries of the dying. Two-Face grabbed one of the mortally wounded children by the hair and dragged her over to Robin, dumping the little girl right in front of him. Blood was pouring from several wounds and she whimpered softly. "Mommy," she whispered, before she went still, her eyes staring. She couldn’t have been more than five years old._

_Robin threw himself sideways in his chair and leaned over the armrest to throw up the contents of his stomach. He heaved several times and didn’t notice the wetness on his cheeks until he’d righted himself again, completely spent._

_"Why did you do that?" Robin rasped, glaring at Two-Face. "She was just a little kid!"_

_"Let’s be clear," Two-Face said. " **You** did this. Right, Bats?"_

_Suddenly, Batman was standing in front of him, staring down at the girl’s body. Then he turned to Robin with an anger that was usually reserved for the cruelest and most hardened criminals. "This was **your** fault, Robin."_

_"No! Batman, I-"_

_" I don't want to hear it. You put your team before civilians. You were **selfish**."_

_"Batman, **please** , I didn’t-!" _

_"Letting you become Robin was clearly the biggest mistake I’ve ever made; you are obviously not up to the task. I have **never** been so disappointed in anyone. Dick, you’re done. Don't bother coming home," Batman added with a look that said he was dealing with the lowest of low-lifes. _

_"W-what?" Robin said, his whole body trembling. But when he looked up, Batman was gone. "Batman? Batman! Help me! Please, Bruce, I-I want to go home…" he whispered._

_"Aww, poor Robbie," Joker said gleefully, drawing Robin's attention back to the clown. "Did daddy kick you out? Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Just like I'm going to take care of your little friends here." His lips contorted into an evil grin. "It's my turn to play."_

_He yanked Wally forward and forced him to his knees. His teammates’ loud protests were summarily ignored. Joker circled the speedster, twirling the crowbar in his hand. "I’m a leeeeeetle bit out of practice," Joker said. "But you won’t mind, will you? It’ll just add to the suspense."_

_"Leave him alone!" Robin cried desperately. "Please!"_

_"Why ever would I do that, little Robin? Don’t you understand? I’m booooored! It’s my turn to have a little fun!"_

_Joker stepped up behind Wally and lined up his crowbar._

_Robin and Wally’s eyes met. "I’m sorry," Robin whispered. Wally just closed his eyes._

_"Batter up!" Joker said and swung the crowbar’s hook directly at Wally’s head. Wally made a choked sound as it embedded itself into the side of his face, crushing his cheek bone, blood spurting everywhere. Joker braced his foot against Wally’s back and yanked, ripping Wally’s head clean off._

_Robin screamed._

oOo

The flight back to Mount Justice was a nightmare. Robin continued to thrash and struggle and scream, heedless of his injuries, and eventually Wally and M'gann had been forced to restrain him.

"Are- are you sure?" M’gann had asked Wally.

"I don’t _want_ to do it," Wally had ground out, trying to pin Robin’s wrists to the table M’gann had created for him. "But he’s going to hurt himself. No, actually, he already _is_ hurting himself; he’s just too far gone to feel it. "

M’gann had nodded. Out of nowhere, two sleek, leather-like bands had appeared as an extension of the table Robin was lying on. It had been a monumental effort for Wally to keep Robin’s arms immobilized long enough for the bands to encircle the younger boy’s wrists, but he’d managed. Seriously, Robin was a lot stronger than anyone gave him credit for.

Now, the both of them were standing over Robin on either side of the table, watching him strain against his bonds and listening to him cry out as he fought whatever enemies he was battling in his mind. Wally had never felt so helpless.

Eventually, Robin’s voice broke and his screams were reduced to sobs. Wally didn’t know which was worse. 

 "Kill me! Just kill me, please!" Robin pleaded desperately, tears rolling down his cheeks. "KILL _ME_!"

The utter despair in his best friend’s voice was like a punch in the gut, and Wally swallowed hard. God, this was- he’d never seen Robin like this before. Heck, he’d never seen _anyone_ like this before, _let alone_ his usually unflappable best friend! Watching Robin – Dick – being lost in such emotional agony that he was asking, no, _begging_ to die was- it was harder than anything he'd ever seen or done in his life. And it was something he never, ever wanted to witness again. He took a deep breath and surreptitiously wiped his cheek with his shoulder.

Robin had said the fear gas would either kill him or make him lose his mind. Was this what it was like to lose your mind? He couldn't imagine what the other boy had to be living through right now, but it had to be absolute hell to make him scream and thrash about like that. If Rob had lost his mind- if that meant he was going to be living his worst nightmares for the rest of his life, trapped inside his own mind…then- wouldn't it be better if- if he-?

 _Stop it, Wally!_ He chastised himself. _He's going to be **okay**. We're almost at Mount Justice, they'll give him the antidote and he'll be **fine**. _

If only Rob would stop begging for him to kill him, he might actually believe it.

"M’gann, can’t you- can't you do something?" he asked, finally tearing his eyes away from his still struggling best friend to look at his other team mate. The tears in her eyes when she met his gaze told him the answer even before she opened her mouth to speak.

"I- I tried. I'm sorry, Wally, but his mind's too volatile," M'gann said. "I'm literally being pushed out before I even have a chance to connect. I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's okay." _No, it’s not. This is sooooooo far from being okay._

"I can’t watch this anymore. I’m- I’m going to see if I can get her to go faster," M’gann said, hurrying to the bio-ship’s cockpit.

Wally only nodded, unable to take his eyes off of his sobbing friend, no matter how much he wanted to.

M’gann had only been gone for a few minutes when Robin suddenly reared up, gasping. His eyes were wide and he gulped for air, his chest heaving. His desperate wheezing scared the crap out of Wally and he felt his panic rise. "Oh God, M’gann, he can’t breathe!" he exclaimed. "I don’t know if he’s just hyperventilating or if he’s having a heart attack!" _Is it his ribs? Did they puncture a lung? He's gotta have at least a **couple** of broken ribs!_ "M’gann! How much longer?"

"Five minutes! We’re almost there!"

Five minutes?! He could probably run that distance in five _seconds_! He leaned over Robin, trying to get him to calm down, wishing there was anything he could do to ease the other boy’s breathing.

_Five minutes, five minutes, five minutes…_

"Hang on, Rob, okay? Just hang on, you’re gonna be okay. You hear me? You’re gonna be okay."

_Dick, seriously dude, don’t make me a liar!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, guys! It's been an extremely busy week :o( Just one more chapter after this one!

"What the hell is taking them so long?" Wally grumbled, glancing at the digital clock hanging on the opposite wall, his knee bouncing wildly with nerves.

His question was met with silence from his team mates. Yes, he was aware that he'd asked the same thing a million times already, but he was just frustrated that they still hadn’t heard anything! And when Wally was frustrated, he talked. A lot. And asked stupid questions.

Artemis, Kaldur and Conner had arrived at Mount Justice about a half hour after Wally and M'gann had with Robin. Before the bio-ship’s hatch had even fully opened, Batman had swooped in and taken Robin from Wally’s arms, stalking down to the medical bay with a swish of his cape. They hadn’t seen him since.

The five of them were currently sitting outside the examination room where Batman had disappeared through the doors with a gasping and struggling Robin in his arms, waiting for word on their teammate. The first few minutes after their arrival Wally had been distracted by Black Canary, who had taken one look at him and ordered him into another examination room. She'd poked and prodded him mercilessly before she was finally satisfied he wasn't dying or otherwise critically injured. Any other time he would've milked whatever injuries he had, no matter how minor, but this time he’d just wanted to get the hell back to the other room to find out what was going on with Rob.

Disappointed that there had been no news on Robin upon his return, he'd sat down across from M'gann and settled in to wait.

Now, Wally leaned his back against the wall and cast his eyes at the ceiling. It had been forty-five minutes since Black Canary had joined Batman and Red Tornado in the examination room. An hour since Robin had been taken away and they’d last heard anything. He was seriously starting to freak out. Which is why he jumped a mile when Kaldur put a hand on his knee, finally stilling its nervous bouncing.

"Wally, it will be all right," Kaldur said softly.

"You don’t know that," Wally practically snapped.

"No, I do not," Kaldur conceded. "But I do know Robin."

"He’s right," Artemis added. She was beside M'gann, her arms crossed in front of her chest. For a moment she looked like she wanted to say more, but then she closed her mouth and looked away.

"Robin’s tough," Conner grunted instead, and Wally glanced up in surprise at where the other boy was sitting on M’gann's other side. Compared to Conner, Robin was a twig that could easily be snapped in two. The fact that Superboy was basically acknowledging that Robin was tougher than he looked was testament to how truly badass Robin was.

"I know," Wally replied belatedly, very briefly locking gazes with M’gann. She was the only one of his teammates who truly understood how serious the situation was; how far gone Robin had been. She'd heard and seen how he’d screamed and struggled and begged to die; she realized that the Robin they knew might be gone.

But they both kept quiet. Giving voice to their fears might make them come true. Wally wasn't superstitious or anything, but, well, Robin could use all the help he could get right now and he wasn't about to jinx anything.

It wasn't until a short while later that it occurred to Wally that he'd been so worried about Robin that he hadn’t even thought to ask what had happened with Knyazev. He turned to Kaldur, who was still sitting beside him. "Tell me you guys kicked that Russian dude’s butt."

Kaldur gave him a grim smile. "We did. I doubt he will be able to walk any time soon. He is being transported to Belle Reve as we speak, pending further police or League investigation."

"Good," Wally said, though the answer didn't give him much satisfaction. And it wouldn't, until he knew Rob was going to be okay. Damn it, why hadn't they heard anything yet?!

When the doors to the examination room finally opened, they all surged up out of their seats. Wally swallowed hard as he looked up at Batman’s serious face.

_Rob, if you're dead, I swear I'm gonna kick your ass! Please, please, please be okay!_

oOo

Dick Grayson slowly became aware that he ached. _Everywhere_. When he shifted, his muscles screamed in protest and his chest felt like it was on fire whenever he took a breath. God, even his eyeballs hurt!

What _happened_? He lay quietly for a minute, trying to get a handle on his surroundings. He was lying on something soft, the air smelled like antiseptic, and there was a steady beeping sound to his right that was familiar. A heart monitor? Was he in a hospital?

He tried to open his eyes, but found that they were covered with something cool and sticky that was effectively keeping them closed. If he was in a hospital, then- why was he blindfolded? When he tried to raise a hand to his eyes, something dug into his wrist, pinning his arm to something cold – metal? His other wrist and both his ankles turned out to be similarly restrained. Panic flared. Why was he tied down?! What was going on? Had he been kidnapped? But if he was in some sort of medical facility… Was he- was he being experimented on? Oh God, what if they were trying to clone him? _Why_ couldn't he _remember_ anything?

"Whoa, hey, shhh, calm down, it’s okay, you're okay."

…Wally?

He jumped when warm fingers brushed his hand, but immediately turned his palm up and clung to them. The fingers squeezed back reassuringly.

"Wally—" Dick paused and frowned at how thin and hoarse his voice sounded. "W-what's going on? Where are we?"

"We're at Mount Justice, in the med bay."

Dick sagged in relief. No cloning. Thank. God. "What- what’s wrong with me?"

"You’ve got a couple of broken ribs, and quite a few bumps and bruises, but you're okay. Oh, and your eyes! Don’t worry, they’re fine. They just put some ointment and drops in them and covered them up to try and get the irritation down a little."

"Oh. And…why am I in these things?" Dick asked, wiggling his wrists a little.

"Well, uh…Scarecrow's gas made you go a little- crazy."

_Scarecrow! And- that Russian dude,_ Dick remembered suddenly. _I got fear-gassed. Right_. Why was his mind so fuzzy? And- he'd gone crazy? It must've gotten _really_ bad if they'd had to put him in restraints! He swallowed. "Did I- did I hurt anyone?"

"No, no, you didn't. But you were doing a pretty good job of hurting _yourself_."

"Oh."

"But since you sound like you've got your head back on fairly straight again, I guess I can take the restraints off now."

"Are you allowed to do that?"

"Probably not, but I kinda hate seeing you in those things and I doubt they're very comfortable, no matter how padded they are, so I don't really care. Just don’t go getting another hallucination or something, okay?"

"Okay," Dick said, waiting quietly for Wally to start undoing the straps.

"Uh, Rob?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I just get my hand back for a minute? I kinda need both of 'em to untie you."

"Huh?" Wally's fingers wiggled in his hand. "Oh!" He let go immediately, feeling heat rise into his cheeks. "Sorry."

"Nooooo problem."

Wally had the restraints off in less than two seconds and Dick breathed a sigh of relief, happy to be able to move around a little, despite the various aches his body kept reminding him of. Finding a slightly more comfortable position to lie in, he yawned. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but now that the adrenaline his initial panic had shot through his body was wearing off, he was beginning to feel sleep pulling at him. But he _needed_ to know more.

"What about you?" he asked his friend, who - judging by the creak of a chair - had sat down beside him again.

"What about me?"

"You okay?"

"Pshh, I'm fine. That Knyazev guy's got nothing on me. Just bruises and a mild concussion. Nothing big."

"Team?"

"Yup, also fine. They kicked the Russian dude's ass for you. Superboy was pissed, and I mean _really_ pissed. Even more so than usual. I think he must've been worried about you or something."

"’M okay," Dick responded automatically.

"Well, you are _now_ , but--."

"Is-is Batman around?"

"Wow, those drugs are really making you play mental leap-frog, aren't they? Okay, uh…no, Batman's not around. He uh…he went Scarecrow-hunting, I guess," Wally replied, and Dick wondered vaguely about the hesitant note in his voice. "He was here when we brought you in though. Sat with you for a while until I told him about Scarecrow and he took off."

"Oh." The fact that Bruce wasn't there bothered him a little, though he wasn't sure why. Scarecrow had to be stopped; innocent people needed to be saved. He knew all that. "Wha's the time?" he slurred, trying to stifle another yawn. God, he was tired.

"It's ah…three a.m."

"Three--?" he tried to rouse himself enough to tell Wally off for hanging around so late, to go home and get some rest, but he was too tired to even speak properly anymore. "K-KF… go…home…"

Wally said something in reply; Dick's brain was too tired to make sense of it. He fought to stay awake – there was so much more he wanted to know! – but his body was heavy, his mind was shutting down and after a few seconds he had no choice but to surrender to sleep.

oOo

Wally yawned and attempted to stretch the kinks from his back. They _really_ needed to start bugging Black Canary for more comfortable chairs in the recovery rooms, like, lounge chairs or something.

After rolling his shoulders a few times, he sighed and slouched back into the chair beside Robin's bed. The younger boy was still asleep – passed out – whatever; he hadn't woken up since the first time Wally had spoken with him, which was six hours ago, but Red Tornado had assured him it was only due to the amount of antidote and sedatives running through his system.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor Robin was hooked up to was reassuring, and Wally no longer found himself keeping an ear out for irregularities as he had in the beginning. When Batman had finally exited the examination room hours ago, he had told them that Robin had suffered a heart attack – which had totally scared the crap out of Wally – but that Red Tornado had managed to get his heart going again. Robin would pull through. At least, physically. They'd had no way of knowing Robin's state of mind until he woke up.

Now that it had been established that the younger boy's mind was still intact, the only real concern was how badly the hallucinations had affected him emotionally. J'onn had said there was a good chance Robin wouldn't even remember them, and Wally fervently hoped that would be the case; his best friend's screams still rang in his own ears, and he could only imagine the terrors his friend had suffered through in his mind.

Wally rested his chin in his hand and studied the other boy's face. A large bruise had blossomed across his right cheek bone, and a smaller but darker bruise had formed on the left side of his jaw. A thin cut marred the skin of his forehead, trailing down to his temple and disappearing beneath the bandages around his eyes.

The only good thing about those bandages was that they ensured that Robin’s secret identity was kept safe, so there was no need for those ridiculous shades. Okay, so they usually looked pretty cool and suave on the younger boy, but wearing shades _inside_ , especially in a poorly lit cave, was definitely pushing it.

The door creaked and Wally turned to see M’gann poking her head inside. Wally smiled at her. "Hey beautiful," he said quietly. As she slipped into the room and sat down in the chair beside him, he did a double-take. "Wow, you didn't get much sleep either, huh?" he blurted.

M’gann blushed and Wally almost gave in to the urge to slap himself. _Smooth, Wall-man, smooth._ "Sorry, I uh didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Wally," M’gann interrupted. "I couldn’t stop thinking about Robin- about, you know… I’ve just never seen him like that."

"Neither have I," he replied, looking back at Robin’s pale face.

"How is he?"

"He seems to be doing okay. Kinda wish he’d wake up again though."

"He’s been out all this time?"

"Yeah. Tornado says it’s nothing to worry about, but…"

M’gann nodded. "It’s hard not to."

They sat in silence for a while. Eventually, Wally found himself unable to suppress a jaw-splitting yawn that made his eyes water.

"Wally, you're tired," M’gann observed.

"I'm fine."

"You’ve been here all night. Why don't you go home for a little while?"

"Because I want someone to be here when Rob wakes up again, seeing as Bats isn't around right now."

"Well, Conner and I can sit with Robin until you get back. And Kaldur and Artemis said they'd be by later, too."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Wally, Robin's our teammate too, you know. We care about him as much as you do."

Wally doubted that, given that Rob was, you know, his _best friend_ , but he appreciated the sentiment. Still, he'd only left Robin's side long enough to take a shower, change into civvies and grab a snack or two, and he had to admit the events of the previous night were catching up to him; although most of his cuts and bruises were already well on their way to healing, he had a killer headache and his muscles were achingly stiff. Plus, his stomach had been growling at him – loudly – for the past three hours.

He glanced at M'gann, who was watching Robin. "Well…" he began hesitantly, and made up his mind when M'gann looked back at him and gave him her pretty smile. "Okay, but I'll just be gone for two hours, tops. I'll just take a powernap, get something to eat, say hi to my folks and come straight back."

"Don't worry. He won't be alone when he wakes up, Wally, I promise."

"Thanks, babe," Wally said, beaming at her and giving her a quick peck on the cheek, before zipping out of the room.

oOo

The next time Dick awoke, he was able to open his eyes, though they felt kind of sticky. It was a little disconcerting to realize that somebody had apparently removed the bandages from his eyes while he’d been sleeping and he hadn’t even noticed. Someone could've smothered him with a pillow and he would've just snoozed through it.

The room was dark, save for a thin ray of light a small window above the door was filtering in from the hallway. He turned his head to the side and found Wally sprawled in a chair beside his bed, snoring softly.

Dick licked his lips and swallowed with difficulty; his throat felt so dry it hurt. Someone had considerately left him a glass of water on the bedside cabinet, but when he tried to lift his arm to reach for it, he found it was too heavy to move.

"Wally," he croaked. _Right, like Wally’s ever gonna be able to hear **that**_ , he thought, frowning at himself. He swallowed again and tried to clear his throat. "Wally," he repeated, his voice coming out only marginally louder than the first time and Wally still showed no signs of waking. Great.

But just when Dick was beginning to think he was going to have to throw something at Wally’s head to get his attention, Wally jolted awake.

"Uh?" he said, jerking upright. His eyes immediately went to the bed, and lit up when he saw Dick looking back at him. "Oh, hey, you’re awake!" he observed, quickly dragging his chair closer and flicking on a small light by the bed. "How’re you feeling?"

"Water," Dick managed to say, his voice still barely above a whisper.

"What-? Oh!" Wally grabbed the glass from the table, spilling some of the liquid onto the floor in his enthusiasm. He held the glass out for him, and with a monumental effort Dick managed to accept the glass and take a few sips from the straw.

"How are you feeling?" Wally repeated, returning the glass to the cabinet when Dick indicated he’d had enough.

"Better," Dick replied, pleased that his voice sounded slightly less husky now. "Just a little- I dunno, lethargic, I guess. _Tired_." He shifted, trying to get more comfortable, and grimaced when his ribs protested. Loudly. "Ouch. Ugh, how many ribs did I break anyway?"

"Three. Most of the rest of ‘em are just bruised. J’onn said you’re lucky; something about your ribs being more flexible because you’re young. Otherwise you probably would’ve had a bag of splinters for a chest right now."

"That’s- a very disturbing image, Wally, thanks." He paused to regard Wally’s rather rumpled appearance. "Dude, how long have you been sitting here?"

"Coupla hours."

"Couple hours? Walls, every time I wake up, you’re right there. You look bushed. Did you go home at all?"

"I did!"

"And how long ago was that?"

"Uh…a few hours?"

"How many hours?"

"I dunno…two?"

Dick raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, four."

Wally was a terrible liar.

"All right, fine! Six hours, okay?"

"Dude! Six hours?! Not that I don't appreciate you keeping me company and stuff, because I really do, but- what's with the constant vigil?"

"Well, uh…" Wally fidgeted and avoided Dick’s gaze, "it's- it’s not every day your best friend begs you to kill him, you know?"

Robin winced. "I did that? I’m- sorry. That- that must've been really hard."

"Dude, not your fault," Wally replied, his voice unusually quiet. "But, yeah, it's really not something I _ever_ want to experience again, so I just kinda want to make sure you're, you know, _really_ okay. Because no matter how hard it was for me to watch you like that, it must’ve been pretty spectacularly terrifying for you to make you act like that."

It was Dick’s turn to look away. "I- dunno. I guess it was, but I don’t really remember much," he said. "The last thing I remember is dropping down into that subway tunnel with you. It’s all really fuzzy after that." It was mostly true; there’d been flashes of feelings, emotions - none of them happy ones -  but they were so hazy that it was hard to pin down anything specific.

"Well, that’s good, isn't it?" Wally said, relief shining on his face. "I mean, I’m glad you don’t remember all that stuff that almost made you- uh, lose your mind."

"Sorry you had to see me like that though."

"Like I said, not your fault. Just- don’t ever do that to me again, okay? I-"  He paused, hesitating. "I used to think there couldn’t be anything worse than death, you know? But watching you- scream and writhe like that, trapped in your own mind-"

Dick felt a blush creep up his neck. He knew he’d gone a little crazy, but hearing that he’d literally been _screaming_ made him feel both embarrassed and a little stunned. He understood now why his throat felt so raw and his voice was so raspy.

 "-it’s kinda made me realize that sometimes death might actually be preferable to the alternative," Wally said, and Dick looked at him just in time to watch him shiver a little. "I mean, when I- when I saw you like that, for a second I- I honestly thought you’d be better off dead."

Wally’s hunched shoulders, bowed head and fidgeting hands screamed ‘guilt trip’. Dick needed to nip this in the bud right now.

 "Walls, look at me. Please?" he added when Wally didn’t immediately comply. "I’m _okay_ ," he said, once his friend had raised his head to meet his gaze. "A little banged up, but you know I’ve had worse. I’m really sorry you had to see me like that; I seriously don’t think I could’ve stood it to see _you_ like that, so don’t feel bad about whatever you were thinking or feeling at the time. I think- I think I would’ve preferred to die too if those hallucinations became never-ending. But they did end and the important thing here is that we’re _both_ okay."

Wally’s smile was slow but genuine. "You’re right."

"Duh. Have I ever been wrong?"

"Once or twice?"

"About things that mattered?"

Wally stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I guess not."

"See? Now, could you hand me that glass again? All that talking’s made my throat hurt."

After taking a few more sips, Dick cleared his throat. "Have- have you heard anything from Batman?"

Wally’s expression turned sympathetic. "Sorry, dude. As far as I know he hasn’t checked in. But he’s not very likely to inform me of his comings and goings anyway. I’m sure he called Canary or Tornado for an update on you."

Dick leaned back against his pillows, a heavy weight settling in his stomach. Why hadn’t Bruce come to see him? Had he done something wrong? "Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure he did," he replied, going for cheerful. It sounded horribly fake.

"He’ll be back soon, Dick," Wally tried to reassure him. "I know he’s being a bit of a jerk right now-- well, he is!" he added when Dick opened his mouth to protest. Then he paused, an uneasy look on his face, and quickly glanced back over his shoulder as if to check that Batman wasn’t standing right behind him. "But he cares about you."

Dick nodded silently and closed his eyes. He knew Bruce cared about him, but- why hadn’t he at least called or something? Was he- was he mad that Dick had gotten himself captured?

He cracked an eye open. "Wally, go home. Get some sleep, okay? I'm fine right here."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Wally, really. I'm _fine_. I'm gonna catch some z's and you need to get some rest, too. Besides, it kinda creeps me out a little when people watch me sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. But I'll be back soon."

Dick nodded and closed his eyes again. He _was_ tired. "Thanks, Walls," he murmured.

"No problem. See you later."

Dick listened as the door opened and closed, but- something was off. "Wally, I know you're still here," he said without opening his eyes.

There was no answer.

"Dude, seriously, if you're gonna learn how to do stealth, you have _got_ to stop breathing so loudly."

"Aw man!"

Dick smiled, his eyes still closed. "Dude, go. Home. I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, fine. Catch you later, Rob."

This time, Wally really did leave.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Just another quick heads-up: there's some more disturbing imagery up ahead. Not a whole lot though ;o)

_"Robin."_

_"Yes, Batman?"_

_"Sit down."_

_Robin did as he was told. He swallowed hard and bit his lip. The mission had been a disaster. He’d lost everyone. His whole team was gone. Dead. He’d failed all of them. Nothing Batman said or did could possibly make him feel any worse about himself at this point._

_"Do you know what failure looks like, Robin?"_

_"I-"_

_"Allow me to show you."_

_Batman picked up something from the table that had been hidden behind his cape and tossed it at him.  Robin automatically caught it; it was roughly the size of a football, but it felt- weird. There was a lot of soft tissue and- hair?_

_When he looked down at the object in his hands, his stomach rolled, and he fought the urge to fling the thing as far away from him as possible._

_It was Wally’s head._

_Dead, green eyes stared at him, mouth agape, skin a bluish purple, swollen and already beginning to rot--_

Dick jerked awake, biting back a scream and tearing his eyes open- only to find himself staring up into the same pair of green eyes he was trying to escape from. Wally's face was hovering close enough that Dick could see the freckles and a few fading bruises on his – very healthy-looking – skin. For a moment, Wally’s lively features blended horribly with the image of the gruesome, dead face that was still floating in his mind—

"…Dude, you okay?"

— and then Dick was sitting up, ignoring his screaming ribs, and pulling Wally into a tight hug.

Wally squawked a little in surprise, but didn't resist and after a moment, Dick felt the older boy’s arms go around him carefully to return the embrace.

"I'm _really_ glad you're alive," Dick whispered.

"Uh…I'm really glad _you're_ alive, too… You uh…you didn't have another hallucination, did you?" Wally asked anxiously.

"No."

"Bad dream?"

"More like a bad memory."

"Huh?"

"I've been remembering bits and pieces of hallucinations," Dick elaborated, his chin digging into Wally's shoulder a little as he spoke. With a start, he realized he was still pretty much clinging to Wally and let go of his friend quickly, his cheeks aflame. He _hated_ that Scarecrow’s toxin was making him feel so vulnerable.

Wally didn’t seem to notice his embarrassment. "Oh. That's- wow," he said, straightening up and grabbing his usual chair. "As if having to go through them once wasn't bad enough, you have to _remember_ them now? That sucks, dude."

Dick nodded. "Just flashes though. Doesn't make them anywhere near as scary."

"Well, this last one seemed like it was pretty scary. You uh…do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay." Wally regarded him for a moment. "Wait- you've 'been' remembering hallucinations? Since when?"

"Uh…since you left, I guess."

"See, I _knew_ it! I knew I should've stayed! Dude, did you get any sleep at all? 'Cause, you know, you kinda look like crap."

"No, I did, it just wasn't always…asterous. Tornado told me both Scarecrow's toxin and the antidote are almost out of my system now though, so the effects should only last for another day or so."

"Another _day_?"

"Wally, it's _fine_. Don't worry." Dick swallowed. "So…is- is Batman back yet?"

"Uh…no, not yet."

"Oh," Dick said, trying very hard not to take Bruce’s continued absence personally. Batman was out chasing bad guys – that’s what he did. He wasn’t staying away because he was mad at him. Or because he was disappointed. He wasn’t.

"I can ask uncle Barry to give Batman a call and tell him you want to see him? ‘Cause I’m sure he’d—"

"No, no, that’s okay," Dick interrupted. "Batman’s got more important things to take care of. They both do."

Wally frowned. "Dude, what could possibly be more important to Batman than making sure you’re okay?"

"Catching bad guys, saving civilians."

"Well, yeah, that’s important, but it’s not _more_ important than checking up on you."

"Batman thinks it is."

"Do _you_?"

"Yes. No. I dunno. Look, Wally, I don’t really want to talk about this, okay? I’m kinda tired."

Dick lay back against his pillows and closed his eyes. Wally being Wally, of course, did not take the hint.

"Dude, come on. What’s bugging you? I mean, aside from revisiting infinitely terrifying hallucinations in your sleep. Something about Batman."

"Wally—"

"Come on, I’m your pal! Your bud! Your best friend! Talk to me, it’ll make you feel better."

Dick sighed and opened his eyes. "I'm just- scared, I guess."

"Of what?"

"Of Batman-- Bruce kicking me to the curb one day."

Wally blinked. "Why the heck would he do something so stupid?"

"Because I'm not contributing. Because I'm a liability. Because I'm only going to end up disappointing him. Because I get people killed. Take your pick."

Wally spluttered. "What do you mean, you get people killed? That's ridiculous!"

"Never mind. The point is that I'm never gonna be able to fill his shoes, and the truth is that I- I don't want to. I'm never going to be able to be what he wants me to be. I don't- I don’t want to be like Batman…"

"Dude, I think Batman’s known you didn't want to be exactly like him since you first started out as his partner, since before you even realized it yourself. I mean, you chose to be _Robin_ , not Batboy or Batman Junior or Kid Bat or something like that. That's a pretty obvious clue right there," Wally pointed out, grinning when Dick smiled a little.

But Dick's smile faded quickly. "I hear what you're saying, but- Wally, what kid _doesn’t_ want to grow up to be their dad or, you know, their mentor? I mean, don't _you_ want to be like Barry when you grow up?"

"Well…yeah. But that's different!"

"How is that different?"

"Well, I dunno, it just is!"

Dick heaved a forlorn sigh. "I'm, like, the worst sidekick in the history of sidekicks."

 _And I guess that’s why Batman’s staying away.._.

oOo

Wally West zipped into Mount Justice’s main communication center and pulled up the holographic display.

Unlike Batman or Bruce, Dick wasn't the brooding type. Quite the opposite, he was the most upbeat and optimistic guy Wally had ever met. Well, except for his uncle Barry, maybe. But on the rare occasion Dick did get himself into a funk, it was hard to get him out of it. Wally liked to think he'd gotten pretty good at it over the years, but this was one time he was clearly out of his depth. There was only one person Dick was likely to listen to at this point, and that person happened to be roaming the streets of Gotham City in search of Scarecrow, instead of being here at Mount Justice to look after his protégé – which was where Wally thought he ought to be.

So Wally had enlisted M'gann and Conner to watch his back, while he hacked – that’s right, _hacked_ – into the League's communications system. It only took him, like, seven tries (Rob had shown him how to do it a couple of times, but a couple of times clearly hadn’t been enough), but he had finally managed to get in. It was a good thing the communications systems were the least difficult to get into, according to Rob, because he didn't think he could handle anything more complicated than this.

He slowly pressed a series of buttons, making absolutely sure he was entering the right combination – the last thing he wanted was to trigger some alarm and have the whole League come bearing down on him in full battle mode.

When he was positive he hadn't tripped any alarms – silent ones or otherwise – Wally took a deep breath. His finger hovering over another button, he paused to consider the magnitude of what he was about to do: he was going to contact Batman, _THE_ Batman, to tell him off for not being there when his partner needed him. He swallowed, feeling an imaginary noose tighten about his neck as he pushed the button. _Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me…_

"Hello? Uh…Batman?" he said uncertainly.

"…Who is this?" Oh yeah, that was a growl. Definitely a growl.

"It's Wally," Wally all but squeaked. "Uh…Kid Flash, I mean. Sir."

"I'm busy."

"I know, I'm sorry to disturb you, Sir, but uh…it's about Robin."

"Is he all right?"

"No. I mean, uh…yeah, he's okay physically, I guess, but uh…those hallucinations are still really bothering him."

"He can handle it."

"Well, yeah, he's Rob, but some of those hallucinations were about you and…" he trailed off, suddenly wondering how much of what his friend had confided in him he should reveal to Batman. Man, he really shoulda thought this through!

"Go on."

Wally hesitated. "Well, uh…he thinks you're gonna hate his guts and kick him out because he's not…uh…living up to your standards. Which is ridiculous, of course, but he's being kind of stubborn about it and I think that it would be good if maybe you could…uh…talk to him?"

 _Oh yeah, Wall-man, you're really telling him off now,_ he thought, resisting the urge to slap himself for sounding like a scared little ten year-old. There was a moment of silence, during which Wally fretted and chewed on his thumb nail.

"Understood. Batman out."

A click and then Batman was gone. Wally blinked. "Wait- 'Understood'? That's it? What does that _mean_? Is he coming back or not?" He threw his hands up in frustration. "Seriously, how does Rob _live_ with that guy?" he muttered, carefully exiting the communications system and shutting down the holographic display.

He sighed. Well, at least he'd tried.

oOo

There was a slight sound at the door and Dick shifted his eyes away from the ceiling with a sigh. He wasn’t really in the mood for company right now. He had no idea what time it was, the artificial lighting in the cave's infirmary not giving away any clues. But he didn't particularly care. All he knew was that it had been more than twenty-four hours since he and Wally had been captured and that he still hadn't seen cowl nor cape of Batman.

Throughout the day, his teammates had made a point of dropping by to "see how he was doing". It wasn't that he didn't appreciate it. He did; they were obviously trying to cheer him up and get his mind off things. It was just that he was too _tired_ to plaster on a smile anymore and pretend to be laughing at their jokes. He knew they meant well though, so the least he could do was to be nice and humor them. Trying to summon enough energy for a smile, he turned his head towards the door- and almost bolted upright.

"Batman! You’re- you're back!"

Batman, looking as stern and stoic as ever, strode into the room and stood by the bed, staring down at Dick. "How are you feeling?" he asked gruffly.

"Fine," Dick replied, hoping his voice sounded strong. He swallowed, feeling nervous under Batman’s stare, and was suddenly glad he was wearing his shades. "Did- Did you catch Scarecrow?"

"No."

"He got away?"

"No."

"…Huh?"

"It was brought to my attention that I have a more important matter to take care of, so I discontinued my search."

"You- you discontinued--?!" Dick stared at Batman incredulously. "Uh, who are you and what have you done with Batman?" _Nothing_ was more important to Batman than getting the bad guys!

Batman pulled off his cowl and suddenly Dick was staring into the concerned blue eyes of Bruce Wayne. As his guardian sat down in the fold-up chair beside the bed, Dick realized with a jolt that _he_ was the "more important matter" Bruce was referring to and that _he_ had been why Bruce had returned to Mount Justice. "Oh," he said, shifting slightly and feeling a blush rise up in his cheeks. "You- you didn't have to break off the investigation for _me_. I'm fine. And- and what if Scarecrow infects more people?"

"Flash and Superman are on it." Bruce leaned forward and reached for Dick’s face – pausing when Dick flinched – and gently removed the sunglasses to reveal Dick’s own blue eyes. "And you are not fine, Dick."

Dick looked down at his fidgeting hands; he wanted to deny it, he really did, but this was Bruce, his mentor, his guardian, and he needed to know- "Bruce, why- why did you leave? I mean, I know _why_ , but did you- did you even check on me?"

"Of course I did, kiddo. Tornado’s been giving me hourly updates on your condition. On your _physical_ condition, that is. I should’ve realized the emotional impact of those hallucinations. I’m sorry, Dick. I was angry- not at you," he added when Dick paled. "I just couldn’t sit here and wait for you to wake up. I needed to be out there, tracking down the ones responsible for putting you through hell. In doing so, however, I underestimated the importance of having a friendly face around while you were going through the aftermath of Scarecrow’s toxin. And for that I’m sorry." 

He sounded genuinely contrite, and Dick gave him a small smile. "It’s okay."

"So tell me about those hallucinations, kiddo. What were they about?"

Dick squirmed. "…I- do I have to?"

Bruce leaned forward once more and lightly brushed Dick’s bangs aside. "No, you don’t have to. But _you’re_ always the one telling _me_ that talking about things makes you feel better than bottling everything up…"

That surprised another small smile out of Dick. "Well…then- I guess I should listen to myself, or you’re never gonna listen to anything I say anymore." He forced his hands to stop fiddling with the sheets, took a deep breath and proceeded to tell his guardian about what he remembered of the horrors that had played in his mind.

"So, um…that’s- that’s about it," Dick concluded awkwardly. He swallowed, studiously avoiding his guardian’s gaze. His hands twisted into the sheets as he waited with dread for Bruce’s response. Bruce was not going to be happy.

"It would seem that Batman plays a rather prominent role in these hallucinations," Bruce commented neutrally.

"Uh…yeah."

"Why do you think that is?"

Dick kept his eyes downcast. "I- because I’m…afraid."

"Of Batman?"

"No. Of- of failing Batman. Of failing- you."

"Dick, you could never fail me _or_ Batman."

"But, I’ve-I’ve already failed you."

"Come again?"

"…I let KF and me get caught, for one thing."

Bruce’s fingers brushed lightly over a bruise on Dick’s arm. "I hardly think you just _let_ yourselves get captured, kiddo. And from what I hear, you were pretty instrumental in your escape."

"But I was totally blind-sided. I should’ve been more alert."

"Probably, and we’ll work on that a little more during team training. But you're human, Dick. You're not infallible. Nobody is, not me, not Superman, and he's not even human. We all make mistakes."

"But my mistakes get people killed…like- like Judge Watkins, and- and I got my team killed! And all those other people…that- that little girl…"

Bruce got up and the mattress dipped as he sat down beside Dick. "Dick, we've talked about this. What happened to Judge Watkins was NOT your fault. And you can't hold yourself accountable for decisions you made in a _hallucination_. And that’s all it was, a hallucination. _Nobody died_ , Dick."

"I- I know, but- it was so _real_ …"

"You've felt the effects of Scarecrow's toxin before."

"I know, but this was- different. It was never this bad. And the gas actually knocked me out for a while; it's never done that before. It took longer for the first hallucination to manifest itself, too."

"It also took  
longer for the antidote to take effect. Red Tornado even had to go so far as to give you a second dose. It appears that Scarecrow has been making modifications to his toxin. It may be necessary to analyze this new gas in order to develop a more effective antidote."

Dick nodded. "Bruce?" he began hesitantly. "I-I know it was just a hallucination – this time – but- have you ever had to make that choice? I mean, have you ever had to make the choice between saving someone you care about and a civilian? Like- like Two-Face made me choose between you and Judge Watkins?"

"No."

"Oh."

Dick didn't think Bruce was going to elaborate, but then he spoke again, his voice unusually quiet. "But if I'm ever faced with such a choice… Truth be told, I know the kind of decision people like us are expected to make, but if I'm ever forced to choose between _you_ and a civilian, I'm not sure I would be able to make that decision myself."

Dick felt his eyes grow wide. "Really?"

"Really. I would sacrifice myself and the entire League in a heartbeat if I thought it was necessary, but you…"

Dick sat back, stunned. Bruce had…doubts? _Batman_ had doubts? Wow. And- he didn’t know if he’d  be able to sacrifice-? _Wow._ "So…you’re not mad?"

"No. Dick, I know I can be hard on you, and you know why I _need_ to be hard on you in this line of work. But we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them. And let me make one thing very clear," Bruce said, gently nudging Dick’s arm, prompting Dick to look up. "You could never fail me. You’ve already far exceeded my expectations both as yourself and as Robin. Now, there may come a time where we don’t see eye to eye, and there will be times that I will be angry with you and that you will be angry with me. But that is never going to change the fact that you are my _son_. Understood?"

Dick stared at his guardian; that was the closest Bruce had ever come to saying ‘I love you’. Dick would take it. He beamed and leaned against Bruce’s side a little. "Understood."

Bruce smiled one of his rare smiles and combed his fingers through Dick’s hair. Dick was pleased to find that this time, when Bruce reached for his face, he didn’t flinch.

"So what did you find out about Scarecrow?" Dick asked after a while, his curiosity getting the better of him. "What was he doing at that warehouse? And who’s that Knyazev guy?"

"Well, from what I’ve pieced together so far, Anatoli Knyazev, AKA the KGBeast, is a former soldier employed by the KGB. These days he’s a gun for hire, and Crane hired him for protection – from us, most likely. I will need to interrogate Crane about the specifics once we have him in custody, but it’s probably safe to assume that he was working on another way to spread his fear gas throughout Gotham. When I sent you and the Team to check into those warehouses though, I was unaware that Crane was using the building you and Kid Flash had been stationed on as his own basis of operation. It was purely coincidence. My guess is that Knyazev was patrolling the building and spotted the two of you on the roof."

"I don’t get it though. Where did Crane get the money to hire a mercenary like Knyazev?"

"He got lucky."

"What?"

"He apparently inherited a small fortune from a long lost relative."

"You’re kidding. I mean, of course you’re not, 'cause you’re _Batman_ , but…criminals inheriting fortunes. Wow. There’s something seriously wrong with this world."

"Well, Joker had the misfortune of inheriting a couple of millions once."

Dick grinned, remembering how Joker had once inherited millions from Edward "King" Barlowe, one of Gotham’s crimelords, only to have it all turn out to be an elaborate ruse to humiliate him. "True," he said, chuckling. Then he stopped short. "Wait, ’the _mis_ fortune’?" he repeated. "Bruce! Was that a pun? It _was_ , wasn’t it?! Now I really know something's wrong with this world!"

Bruce laughed quietly. "I think you’re rubbing off on me, kiddo," he said, ruffling Dick’s hair. Then his expression grew serious. "Now. I want to talk to you about Kid Flash."

oOo

Robin glanced up at the sound of the door opening, his shades firmly in place. "Hey, Wally."

"Hey. Wow, dressed already?"

"Yeah, Batman's picking me up in a few minutes. I wanted to be ready to go." He slowly pulled his knee up to prop his heel on the edge of the mattress and bent forward a little to tie his sneaker, but jerked upright with a gasp. He felt the blood drain from his face as he rode out the pain that lanced up his chest.

"Geez, let me do that, you idiot," Wally chided, immediately stepping forward to tie both shoes in record time. "How did you even manage to get yourself dressed properly?"

"Slowly," Robin managed when he got his breath back.

"Did you hear the news about Scarecrow?"

"Oh yeah, Artemis took great pleasure in telling me about how Batman pretty much broke his face," Robin said with some satisfaction.

"Aw man! _I_ wanted to be the one to tell you that!"

"Gotta be _faster_ next time, Wally," Robin said, chuckling. He stopped himself with a wince.

Wally frowned. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, just have to take it easy for a few weeks," Robin replied, still sitting on the bed, his legs dangling over the edge.

Wally sat down beside him. "Okay. So uh…did you and Batman have a good talk yesterday?"

Robin grinned. "Actually, we did. About you."

"About _me_?" Wally almost squeaked.

"Bruce said you could stay over some time. You know, at the manor."

"You mean, like, a sleepover?"

"Yep!"

"Seriously? Dude! That. Is. EPIC!" Wally was practically bouncing, and Robin chuckled, wrapping a protective arm around his ribs. Then Wally paused mid-bounce. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Why now? We've practically been begging for _months_ , but he's always said no."

"I dunno. Did you do something to impress him lately?"

Wally stroked his chin, thinking. "Not that I-- wait."

Robin raised a questioning eyebrow and Wally filled him in on how he’d hacked into the League’s communication systems and contacted Batman.

Robin stared at him. "You hacked. Into the League’s communication system. _So you could be mad at Batman_?!"

"Yup," Wally said, beaming proudly.

"And he didn’t kill you?"

"Well, obviously."

"Wow. WOW. Walls, I can’t believe you did that."

"Believe it, dude."

"I mean, _I can’t believe you did that_!"

"You said that already."

"Well, it’s worth repeating! Wally, you _rock_!"

"Wait, you were trained by the Bat and you're only just now taking note of my awesomeness? Dude, you're slipping."

Robin grinned. "I guess I’ll have to pay better attention on our next stake-out together."

"Well, _obviously_. After what happened two days ago though, I’m never going to complain about boring stake-outs again."

"Oh, really? Can I get that in writing?"

"Okay, maybe not _never_ , but, you know, for a mission or two _at least_."

Despite his aching ribs, Robin couldn't help but laugh. "I still want to get that in writing!"

\- END -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If you're curious about exactly what happened to Judge Watkins, you can read it in Robin: Year One. Thanks, everyone, for sticking with me and for the wonderful reviews! Every time I get a review it feels like opening a present. Thanks so much :o)


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